Free Shit

OK now I work in a few different establishments but there is a common trend in bars, no matter where you go. There is always someone out there looking for a free drink, a free shot, a free beer, etc. Let me spell this out nicely. Sodas cost money too. Don't think that just because you are ordering a soda that I wont charge you. It is my job to put money into the register. And if you come to the bar and flag me down obnoxiously and proceed to ask me for a glass of water you had better be DAMNED sure that you throw me a buck or two. Just because water is free doesn't mean you can take me away from my paying customers and not make any money off of it. I mean doesn't this make sense.
Now that we have water and sodas covered lets continue to ordering. If a bartender asks you what you want to drink, the worst thing you can do is..."I'll have two bottles of miller lite, one Cosmo...hey guys what do you want?.....uh....uh....a blue moon and...uh....uh" NO! This type of ordering does not fly. Go up to the bar with your list of drinks ready and be quick, because if you take any longer than ten seconds ordering I am leaving to help a customer who is prepared and ready. OK? Get it?
Along these same lines, do not under any circumstances order 1 shot of red death, 1 shot of jolly rancher etc. In essence, if the shot you are doing has more than two liquors in it you had better order at least two. I am nice and will make them, then save the extra and drink it myself but I know plenty of bartenders who will laugh in your face if you order one shot of red death. And I don't blame them. Really, if you want to do a shot by yourself that badly man up and learn how to drink something straight, like tequila, whiskey or some sort of schnapps my personal preference is Rumple Mintz. But are you catching my drift?
OK finally, onto free shit. I don't care if you order ten rounds of drinks from me and you are paying each time. Don't EVER imply to the bartender that you want something for free. I mean really that's like me going into your job as an insurance salesperson or something and saying well I'm here and I've been paying my insurance for a while so can I have a month of x (whatever you please) for free? NO, that's absurd. No one in their right mind would do that. So why is it socially acceptable to go into a bar and expect that a shot or a beer is free. I find it everywhere. At the little local bar I work at I actually have people who refused to pay their tabs. In most establishments there is a certain amount of booze that the bartender is permitted to give away (my one job we call it a comp. check) for 20 dollars we can buy customers drinks and at the end of the night managers comp those drinks. Its a good idea, and here's the thing, its up to the bartender not the customer. See a bartender who just gives free shit away all the time is stealing. I am not loosing my job because you don't want to pay for your beer. If you tip me well and you are a pleasant person I may buy your drink for you. But I am not stealing from my place of employment just because you want to be cheap or get something for free. If that is the case, go to the beer distributor and buy a case of beer and sit at home.

jukebox etiquette

Ok I have to make this quick because I have to be in class in twenty minutes. I just want to take a minute to touch on jukebox etiquette because some people are such morons that they have no idea how to use one correctly. First of all, never, ever, ever ever EVER play Freebird in a bar. Never. I don't care if you think you can justify it, you can't, don't even try, you'll just look like a moron. Secondly, now we have these nifty internet connected jukeboxes in which you can surf over thousands of songs and then choose if you would like to skip over all the other music people have played to hear yours next. That is the worst invention in the world! I mean really, patience is a virtue. Since we were little our parents stressed patience. But NO, American society needs to be instantly gratified. Always. Even when it comes to music in a bar. It drives me nuts, I have actually seen jukebox wars go on in which people wasted over twenty dollars just to play their crappy music over someone else's crappy music who also pumped a rediculous amount of money into the machine. Its amateur and childish. Also...its ok if a good song comes on and you want a little volume, but EVERY OTHER SONG?!?!?!?! Calm your damn horses, I'm putting the volume on one setting and don't you DARE yell at me to "turn it up". So to sum up, be smart about your music picks, be polite and courteous to those around you and most of all to your bartender.